Why Black Moms Face Higher Rates of Burnout (and How to Cope)
Mothering is a never-ending job, and the pressure Black moms face is immense.
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I felt overwhelmed by the impending trials of Black motherhood from the moment I saw my positive pregnancy test. Even before my first ultrasound, a whirlwind of transitions, statistics and assumptions swooped in, snatching any hope I had to focus on the excitement of this milestone moment. I quickly learned that pregnancy was basic training for the battle of mothering while being Black. There were no da...
How Generational Trauma Affects Black Families—and Ways to Work Toward Healing
I’ve seen generational trauma leave holes in our family narrative: More stories ended with “and they refused to tell anyone what happened” than I could count. Struggling in silence has hurt all of us, especially mothers and caregivers. Because I wanted better for myself and my children, I started working on a plan to parent from a place of self-awareness and freedom even before I was pregnant. But the truth is, all too often, generational trauma in Black families is nurtured by silence. To ge...
Major Depression Is More Likely to Be Misdiagnosed if You’re Black — Here’s How to Advocate for Yourself
The notion that Black people don’t get depression is a pervasive myth. The reality is that Black Americans do get depression, but they may not always get the proper diagnosis or treatment for it. (Decades of research back this up.)
One factor is clinical depression being more likely to be misdiagnosed as schizophrenia than others. Even when Black people show signs of major depressive disorder (MDD), they’re 3 to 4 times more likely to be diagnosed with schizophrenia-spectrum disorders than wh...
Is my child neurodivergent? What experts say parents need to know
It feels like the term “neurodivergence” is everywhere these days, but it’s rare we get a helpful breakdown of what it is and what it means for our children. Research suggests 15 to 20% of the population is neurodivergent. While there’s no singular experience for neurodivergent children, Laura Petix, a pediatric occupational therapist, mom to a neurodivergent daughter and the author of “A Kids Book About Neurodiversity,” says parents may see evidence in behavior.
“If you notice your child lea...
Accepting my children’s neurodivergence has been the key to understanding my own
My loved ones recognized my brilliance early in life. By age 4, I answered the phone by saying, “May I ask who’s calling,” and, “Can I take a message,” before passing clear summaries to the corresponding loved one. At 7, I wrote stories and poems to contemplate my deep feelings and the depth of existence. I always had a challenging question to stump adults in my back pocket. But, they also noticed that I was extremely talkative, disorganized and occasionally impulsive.
These qualities followe...
The Pregnancy Bill of Rights: Understanding Your Rights During Pregnancy, Labor, Birth and Beyond
Pregnancy can be full of joy, but it’s also understandable if the maternal health crisis has left you feeling vulnerable. There are vast disparities in care depending on your race and where you live, and the maternal mortality rate is tragically high, especially among Black, American Indian and Alaska Native moms. Many other populations, especially members of the military community and immigrant families, face additional concerns about giving birth too.
Moms aren’t responsible for solving thi...
Finding Freedom in Black Motherhood
I know there’s never been a better time to be a Black mother, even though it doesn’t always feel like it.
I often reflect on how small things, like my children playing loudly in our backyard, would be impossible in a different time or place. My heart aches knowing I experience a level of freedom and agency the mothers in my lineage couldn’t visualize, let alone exercise. Still, the artifacts of injustice don’t feel distant. I see the afterimage of “whites only” signs every time I blink. I los...
How Black Americans Are Reclaiming Outdoors Spaces — and Their Health
Escaping to the mountains or beach for some exercise and fresh air is good for the body and mind. But until the last several years, participation in activities like hiking and surfing has been largely white. Even after segregation, a long history of blatant or subtle discrimination and microaggressions, as well as lack of access to nature, are some barriers that have kept Black Americans away from these spaces that so many people love.
A new generation of Black outdoor organizers is challengi...
Is the Pressure of Black Excellence Hurting Our Kids?
Black youth are excelling in academics and sports in record numbers. Still, parents are asking, what are the unintended consequences of #Blackexcellence on our kids?
"If it was a 'B' minus, I was scolded about why it wasn't a 'B' or 'B' plus,'" says Chatima Hughes. The mother of three who lives in Cheyenne, Wyoming, says her parents expected her to bring home nothing less than a "B" from school.
Hughes's experience describes the long tradition of Black communities expecting their youth to cha...
What I’ve learned about raising children who are young, gifted and Black
As a parent, I strive for a balance between affirming my children’s Black identity and protecting them from the realities of racism.
Fifty-seven years ago, nearly three decades before I was born, Lorraine Hansberry, a talented author, playwright and activist, said, “I, for one, can think of no more dynamic combination that a person might be” than young, gifted and Black.
The words inspired many long before they would reach and resonate with me. The most visible fruits of Hansberry’s words is ...
Social Change, at the Cellular Level
When does a cell hold power? That depends on who you ask.
As a reproductive justice advocate, I consider the power of a cell most viscerally when thinking about abortion rights. A cell’s power has new significance as millions have been robbed of abortion rights and access. I’m discomforted that, even in its early stages, an embryo now has more protection than I do as a Black mother in the United States.
Cells are rarely categorized as bad or good. But they can serve as an analogy of how our p...
Battling Postpartum Depression Feels Different When You’re Black
I don't recall noticing that I was struggling with early motherhood before the nurse at my son's first checkup flagged my mental health screening.
It's no wonder, though. After all, my introduction to motherhood had included a brief NICU stay for my son and residual birth trauma and body pain for me. Plus, my husband and I had concerns over my son's ability to latch and thrive. All of this brought on sadness and occasionally disassociation. It didn't take long before these feelings became a w...
Race and Medicine: How to Find Medical Care When You’re Black
PERSPECTIVE
The unspoken racism in the medical system goes beyond my experiences alone.
This is Race and Medicine, a series dedicated to unearthing the uncomfortable and sometimes life threatening truth about racism in healthcare. By highlighting the experiences of Black people and honoring their health journeys, we look to a future where medical racism is a thing of the past.
As a Black mother of two, it often feels like my relationship to the American medical system was determined centuries...
7 Tips for Finding a Culturally Competent Therapist – from Someone Who's Been There
PERSPECTIVE
If you’re not comfortable affirming my race and gender, you’re not able to provide the support I need.
I think folks believe I’m joking when I say it took seeing six or seven mental health professionals before I found one who was a good fit.
Don’t even get me started on my marriage therapist.
I wouldn’t say the others were bad counselors — at least not all of them. What I can say is that they were a bad fit for me as a Black woman.
To support me as a client, a counselor has to und...
How To Advocate for School Accommodations for Black Children
Whether your child has, or needs, a 504 plan or an IEP, they have a right to the accommodations in school that will help them succeed.
For those of us parenting children who require accommodations to thrive in school, it's important to be prepared. Supporting children who are neurodivergent or have disabilities, especially Black children, requires quite a bit of parent advocacy. Black children who need accommodations in school are often misdiagnosed with conduct and behavior disorders or othe...