Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez

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According to Ph.D., a psychologist and host of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, black girls are often characterized as “little women.” Teachers, and even parents, may expect black girls to exceed age-appropriate levels of responsibility at home or assume they don’t need to be comforted after emotionally distressing events, according to researchers.

Becoming a mother solidified my passion for activism. From the maternal health challenges that plagued the births of both of my children to the wide scale manifestations of bias from which I hope to protect them, activism seemed like an unavoidable consequence of mothering while Black.
My family’s journey has been documented in the public record. A 2017 clip from my local newspaper in Cheyenne, Wyoming, features me holding my then-one-year-old son in one hand and a sign that reads “Ain’t I a ...

In early March, Taylor DeClue and her fiancé left New Orleans to celebrate their pregnancy in Illinois with family. They had no idea it was the last time they’d be home before their son arrived due to the rapidly increasing number of cases of COVID-19 in New Orleans.
“The decision was made an hour before I was supposed to get on the plane to head back. I’m not so much worried about catching the virus, but I am worried about the impact a hospital will have on my son’s birth,” DeClue explained....

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, an assistant professor of psychology at Pepperdine University, suggested further engaging young children in black history by showing them examples of local heroes: “We often focus on key figures such as Martin Luther King Jr. or Rosa Parks,” he said. “However, it’s also important to consider local community leaders who have made contributions.”

Last year, three inflamed, welt-like bumps appeared on my two-year-old son’s shoulder, arm, and temple. So I called the pediatrician’s office in my rural town.
The doctor seemed unconcerned and prescribed an anti-bacterial and a steroid cream. Days later, the bumps multiplied, covering my son’s torso, arms, and legs. A different doctor saw him, asked about our family’s history of skin conditions, and gave a diagnosis that left me confused: atopic dermatitis, commonly known as eczema.
Her fast...

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment the world first informed me that Black women were supposed to move through life with suffering and pain. Growing up, most of the depictions of Blackness I saw around me were in the context of struggle. On the rare occasion I saw Black people who weren’t struggling, there was an underlying suggestion that my family— my mom, my brother, and I—shared responsibility for the barriers that limited us.
I’m not fighting the same exact battles as my parents, or my gra...

Last weekend, I popped, locked, and dropped it on top of a table in a tight black bodysuit. I had only known the people I was dancing with – mostly queer folks of color – for less than two days. But we mirrored each other’s moves like longtime friends. I found immense freedom in a dance circle made of mostly strangers, and I loved it.
Those few hours of joy are hard to come by when you’re a black mother of two in rural America. It’s even harder to experience when you’re a journalist who speci...

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Beauty
Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex is often mistaken for postpartum depression. But it happens 30 seconds at a time.
I knew I intended to breastfeed early on in my first pregnancy. But the journey was much more difficult than expected. As a Black mother, breastfeeding was about so much more than a “choice” of food; looking at our higher rates of infant mortality, and socioeconomic barriers to quality care, to me it was a necessity. So I powered through challenges that made me question...

I strongly believe in raising children without gender barriers or gender-based limitations.
At the same time, I also believe that there are certain lessons that I plan to emphasize for my son. And other lessons that I plan to emphasize for my daughter.
The decision to prioritize certain lessons depending on the social position assigned to my children is one that might seem contradictory to my other statement, but it ain’t.
There are plenty of memes on the internet about the things that we int...

I used to want to be a perfect mom. I wanted to do “all the things” — the arts and crafts, the homemade sugary treats, and fill our days with brain-boosting, sensory activities. Surely, if the experts recommend engagement and a play-based approach to early learning, they must be important, right?
And I wanted more than to just be this shining beacon of maternal excellence. I wanted to be hot as hell and stylishly dressed while doing it.
Back then I thought it was achievable to be everything t...

Photo by Wendy Maeda/The Boston Globe via Getty Image
When my son was born, he had severe hydronephrosis — fluid on the kidneys — and was quickly transported to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Like any parent, I hoped he would receive the best possible care in a critical setting. But a recent study has found disparities in treatment of Black infants in the NICU.
The study, "Racial Segregation and Inequality in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for Very Low-Birth-Weight and Very Preter...

I can remember the first time I left my son with a sitter. I wanted picture messages at 30-minute intervals and regular updates. I said it was to see how he was adjusting, but we all know it was all about me. Those updates made our first movie date after my son was born suck pretty bad, but it made me a lot more comfortable as a mother.
Leaving your baby for the first time is terrifying. It's even scarier when she’s being left with someone and you're unsure if they know what they need to do. ...

After years of suffering from mysterious symptoms, my mother Janice Thomas finally found a doctor who correctly diagnosed her with two autoimmune diseases, Lupus and Sjogren's. Both diseases are more prevalent in the black population than in other races and are often misdiagnosed.
The National Institutes of Health has found that minorities make up less than 10 percent of trial participants.
Like many chronic health conditions, a lack of understanding persists about their causes, individual ma...

Starting last week, Lifetime Network has been showing a six-episode docu-series titled “Surviving R. Kelly” that gives more details about what many of us have been saying for years: Robert Kelly is a serial rapist. For many Black women, the last few days have seen a blur of unintentional (and intentional) denials of our reality and triggering social media posts.
The de-prioritization of Black women’s and girls’ experiences isn’t new to us.
My mind cannot help but drift to the lack of outrage ...

How we see the world shapes who we choose to be — and sharing compelling experiences can frame the way we treat each other, for the better. This is a powerful perspective.
The night before giving birth, a relative contacted me with a list of must-do’s.
“Don’t forget to shave. You don’t want to go into labor looking like a wolfman,” she reminded me. Her intention was helping me combat any prebirth memory lapses.
But she didn’t know I hadn’t shaved the entire pregnancy and had no intention of s...